


you're under a vest

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Police Officer Harry, Police Officer Niall, Receptionist Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:30:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry is a cop that tells horrible jokes and everyone is sick of him except louis</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're under a vest

**Author's Note:**

> just a random fic i wrote on this post
> 
> http://25.media.tumblr.com/0ff029f7480940c447d778e90156432d/tumblr_n2ysfv0zyK1rhjjo0o1_500.png

Harry had been on the force for fifteen months when the jokes started. Little stupid cop jokes that he found hilarious, like ninety percent of his other jokes.

Louis didn’t mind of course. He loved it when Harry laughed and he would always indulge the boy no matter how bad it got. Until he started getting calls from Harry’s beat partner, Niall.

“They don’t stop! He pulls them out of his arse I swear ya! Always ‘Niall, what did the police man say to his tummy? Niall, did you hear about the fucking battery bunny-”

“Energizer bunny.” Louis corrected.

“I don’t fucking care! I’m gonna beat him with my baton if he tells me another fucking joke. I fucking swear it.”

“Niall, let him be. He just wants to have a few laughs.”

“You can take it because you find it endearing, like Zayn thinks its cute when Liam drunk sexts him. I personally don’t like it when he accidentally sends them to me.” Louis could practically feel Niall cringing through the line.

“Babe, I hear you. I’ll see what I can do.”

Niall screams in elation and hangs up before Louis can say goodbye.

*  
That night Louis corners Harry in the kitchen after he gets in from a rather short shift.

Louis wraps his arms around the taller boy’s waist and stands on his tip toes to kiss his neck. Harry giggles and snuggles closer to Louis. He always seems to make himself smaller in Louis’ arms and it never ceases to amaze him.

“Baby.” Louis whispers into Harry’s neck.

“Hmmm.” Harry turns around to face Louis.

“I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.” Louis’ heart clenched at Harry’s sleep warm voice.

“Niall called today. He said he needs you to stop with the jokes. He threatened to beat you with a bat.”

“Baton.”

“What?”

“I was sitting next to him when he called you.” Harry smiled at Louis.

Louis puckered his lips and Harry dipped down to press a soft kiss to them.

“I love your jokes, Haz. Don’t stop them on my account.”

Harry beamed.

“I’ll stop telling Niall the jokes. Promise.”

“Okay lets go to bed, kitten.”

*  
“Hey, Lou.”

“Yes, love.”

“What do you call it if a prisoner takes his own mug shot?”

“I don’t know, babe.”

“A cellfie!”

Louis laughed and Harry laughed and the cat laughed and the lady down stairs banged on the ceiling.  
*  
It happened again a week later.

Louis was sitting at the front desk of the dentist office he worked at when his cell phone rang.

He tried to put it on silent but it wouldn’t stop playing Pony, a ringtone he had set ironically a week ago and had come back to bite him in the ass like Zayn told him it would.

“Fucking hell, Li! This better be important.”

“Your boyfriend is a cunt.” Zayn said on the other line.

“Use your own fucking phone! I never know who’s calling anymore.” Louis grumbled.

“I’m here. In my own home, mind you, trying to have sex with my loving and attentive *muffled noises*....and incredibly well hung boyfriend, Liam didn’t want me to say that.”

Louis stayed on the line while Liam apparently wrestled Zayn for the phone.

“Tell Harry to leave, please.” Liam said.

“I’m at work and its his day off! What has he done anyway?” Louis asked while scribbling down an appointment date for a passing paitent.

“I’m trying to make love to Zayn and Harry won’t stop with his stupid cop jokes.”

“Make love sounds gay.” Louis heard Zayn say in the back.

“Well you love cock so.” Liam said.

“Jesus, Li! I can hear you!”

Zayn cackled as Liam apologized profusely. Louis shook his head and wondered when his life had started to fall apart like this.

Louis eventually got Harry to save his jokes for home and Zayn and Liam were able to bang with out Harry’s constant interruption. Two hours later he got another call.

“I love Harry. I love him lots but I don’t care about how much he loves to tell you jokes when he rides you.” Zayn said as soon as Louis picked up the phone.

“Oh, did you finally stop choking on Liam’s dick long enough to talk to your guest?”

“Fuck you, that was like ten minutes ago.”

“You guys went at it for two hours?”

“Louis.”

“Right yes. Give Harry the phone.”

“...”

“Louis!”

“Haz, stop talking about my cock and give Zayn the phone back.”

“Okay.”

“...”

“That was fast.”

“I’m working.” Louis hung up.

*  
Louis opened the door to his and Harry’s flat to the smell of vanilla. He hung up his coat and kicked his sensible work shoes into some unknown corner.

“Louis, I made…what’s wrong?”

“Zayn called, like, twice today.”

“Oh.”

“Just...I could have lost my job, kit.”

“I’ll make it up to you. Right now, hold on.”

Harry whipped his batter covered apron off and wiped his hands all over his pants.

Harry led Louis into their bedroom and laid him against the duvet.

“The toilets were stolen from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on.” Harry whispered.

“Haz, I swear.” Harry giggled and stripped off the rest of his and Louis’ clothes.

Harry crawled on top of Louis and ground their crotches together and gasped when Louis gripped his hair.

“Wanna ride you, Lou. Please, fuck.” Harry closed his eyes and sped up his movements against Louis’ thigh. Louis flipped them over and reached for the lube on the bedside table.

He quickly prepped the boy, who was still loose from their round earlier that morning.

Louis pushed all the way into Harry as Harry arched off the bed and scratched down Louis’s back.

“Lemme, shit, wanna ride you please.” Harry gasped between little uh’s he let out every time Louis thrusted into him.

Louis finally rolled over, staying inside Harry the entire time. Harry sunk down immediately, riding Louis in little figure eights while Louis pushed his body onto his cock. Harry got louder as he got closer and closer, Louis smacking his hand away every time he tried touch himself.

“Please, gonna come. Uh, Lou, please.”

“Not until I get to come, babe. You know the rules.”

Harry nodded.

“Lou…”

Louis didn’t respond.

“How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but only if it's jelly-filled.” Harry laughed, then moaned as Louis began repeatedly hitting his spot.

Louis came suddenly inside Harry and after a few more thrusts Harry came untouched all over Louis’ stomach.

“I love your jokes, Hazza.”

Harry smiled down at Louis and kissed him sweetly on the mouth as he pulled out.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and feedback is welcome


End file.
